Hi. I'm Snow White.

That was unsettling.

I’m sitting here, staring at a blank page when I hear this sound.

“whoo-WHIRRRRR-whoo”

It’s not so much a bird sound as it is a sound someone makes when they are trying to sound like a bird to lure someone else outside for the purposes of kidnapping or smooching.

I hear it again.

“whoo-WHIRRRRR-whoo”

My mom comes in and says, “Is that a bird?”

We laugh.

No more noise.

My mom leaves.

I look at apartments online because even though my job has not even STARTED and I will not get paid probably until the middle of APRIL everyone wants to know where and when I am moving. Plus, I love looking at apartments. It’s my porn, apartments.com.

Anyway.

I hear it again.

“whoo-WHIRRRRR-whoo”

I get up, all Inspector Gadget-y, “I MUST find the bird!”

And there it is…just chillin in the bathroom window, which for some reason no longer has either a closed window, screen, or storm window. Good thing my dad put up the shutters otherwise we would have had a bird IN the house and we all know what that means…DEATH!...or something, I don’t know.

Now, I didn’t really think I had any particular feelings about birds. They fly, they don’t, one shit on my cousin at the beach and that was kind of funny, whatever. But once I realized that this bird could be in my house I realized that I very much did not want him in here. Especially because I think he’s been trying to get in for a while.

I think he wants to hang out with me. He’s been loitering on all the windowsills of the rooms I have been in for weeks now and sometimes he just stares at me like we’ve made plans and he’s on time and I’m late all, “Hello, it’s me. It’s cold out here. Let me in already.”

Which is impossible, because I am always on time if not early.

So, I do a little tap tap on the shutter, he flies away and hopefully that will be the last we hear of his kind because I don’t need that kind of guilt.

In other news, I’m having a book marathon this weekend. I just read Why Girls are Weird by Pamela Ribon. I’m glad I liked it since that was the one I bought. Everything else came from the library.

Speaking of the library…have you been going? You need to go. Right now. We can’t be friends otherwise. Actually, of course we can, but it would make me feel good…and depending on where you live, possibly contribute to my salary! Because I’ll have one. Because I got a JOB! Yup. It’s still fun to say.

Anyway…book marathon. I shall be posting reviews as I complete them. I’d post the first review now but I am fucking starving.